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Slayers Library -> Humor -> Slayers Fight! by Xanthix

Slayers Fight!

This week:

Filia the Golden Dragon
Millie Thompson
(from Trigun)

No Tea Party!

This time we are happy to bring you an exciting matchup from Slayers Try - with Filia! Unfortunately we couldn't match her against another Golden Dragon since the EPA has officially declared them an endangered species. And the only Ancient Dragon we know of won't be in fighting shape for a few hundred years... But we did find someone that shares Filia's intelligence, hairstyle, and love of concealed weapons: Millie Thompson from Trigun!

The Slayers Favorite

Everyone's favorite shrine maiden, Filia served in the temple of the Fire Dragon Lord, trying to keep those pesky Mazoku from destroying the world. She is young and inexperienced by dragon standards, but determined to protect those around her. Except for Xelloss. As far as she's concerned, he can go take a long walk off a short Astral Plane, if you catch our drift. She reluctantly cooperated with him, Lina, and the rest to protect the world by _____. [No spoiler here - go watch the end of TRY!] Now she is the happy owner of a pottery shop. Go fig.

The Contender

Trigun's Millie Thompson is the challenger today. She works as an insurance agent for Bernadelli Insurance, assigned to follow (and keep an eye on) Vash the Stampede, the Human Typhoon. She's a good girl with a lot more smarts than people give her credit for, and she got mixed up in a terrible mess surrounding Vash. Can't say much more without spoiling the ending [go watch Trigun!], but she performs admirably to save her friends.

Quick Break Down:

  Filia Millie
Real Identity: Golden Dragon "Stungun Millie"
Secret Identity: Shrine Maiden Insurance Agent
Secret Mission: Save the world from [SPOILER] Save the world from [SPOILER]
Hidden Weapon: HEAVY Mace BIG Stungun

Detailed Analysis:

So we have two young ladies who are evenly matched in many categories. But, as you may have noticed, both are goody-goodies. These are people who wouldn't hurt a soul (unless he looked up their skirts of course!). How are we going to start a fight here? Well, here at Slayers Fight! we have a way of dealing with these situations.

Secretly, we've switched Filia's decaf tea with an extra-caffeine brand. We also put pepper in Millie's pudding. Then we told Filia that Millie did it and told Millie that Filia did it. We may have also mentioned something about Xelloss or Wolfwood...

OH MY the hidden weapons are out now! As we run for cover, we can see Filia smashing her 500-pound mace all the way through the table Millie was sitting at, and in response, Millie whipping out her 3-foot-long stungun and firing it. The huge immobilizing crosses that it fires catch Filia by surprise and launch her across the way. That's GOTTA hurt.

Final Remarks:

Well, Filia has transformed into her Golden Dragon form and is pulling out all the stops. Millie is doing a good job of holding her own though, knocking the dragon back with her stungun. This could get ugly! What will run out first - Filia's temper or Millie's ammo??

Wait, what's this? Someone's riding a weird horse-like animal into the arena! It's... Merly Stryfe, Millie's partner! She seems to be trying to break up the fight. Millie stands down with a "Sempai!" ["Boss!"] Now she's lecturing Filia about Class-G Property damage done to some Ancient Dragon Temple... Hmmm... Come to think of it, we tend to see a lot of Class-G Property damage around here... maybe we should exit quietly stage right...

The Winner: Bernadelli Insurance!!

Up Next: Meryl Stryfe vs. Slayers Fight!
(Are you insured for this whole fighting thing?)

Have feedback, suggestions, or match/rematch requests?
Email Xanthix!

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Slayers Library -> Humor -> Slayers Fight! by Xanthix

"Slayers" is copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi. Original ideas, artwork, and text present on this page are copyright Esther Nairn, unless otherwise noted. No reproduction is allowed without express written or emailed permission. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.