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Slayers Library -> Humor -> Slayers Fight! by Xanthix

Slayers Fight!

This week:

Martina and her Orihalcon Golem
Ikari Shinji and his Evangelion
(from Neon Genesis Evangelion)

Mecha Mayhem

Didn't think Slayers was a mecha series, did you? Normally you'd be right, but like any anime it does have its mecha moments. For example, there are some gunpowder weapons, Jirasu's tank in Try, and of course Martina's Orihalcon Golem in Next! Mecha in Slayers opens the door to a whole new kind of crossover... so let's see what would happen if we take on the mecha from Neon Genesis Evangelion!

The Slayers Favorite

For those that don't remember much about Martina except her single-minded vendetta against Lina, in the first episode of Slayers Next she pilots a large golem in a last-ditch effort to stop the Slayers from opposing her plans. It is the mighty Orihalcon Golem, preserved for 1000 years with the Book of Xoana, which contains the secrets of golem-making. Being made of the magical material Orihalcon, it can reflect common spells and withstand direct attacks. Not bad for a series that you though was back in the Middle Ages, technology-wise!

The Contender

Facing off against Martina's golem will be Ikari Shinji, the 3rd Child of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Only he can pilot the powerful and mysterious Eva-01, a man-made biological mecha with the same proportions as the Orihalcon Golem. Although in the Evangelion series he is one of mankind's last defenses against even more mysterious attackers (the Angels), neither he nor the Eva is... well... without their quirks, shall we say. But we're not here to criticise, we're here to stage a Slayers Fight! Besides, the Eva's limitations will make up for the fact that it is more technologically advanced.

Quick Break Down:

  Martina Shinji
Title: Princess of Xoana 3rd Child, Eva Pilot
Hometown: Xoana Tokyo-3
Ominous Backer: Monstrous Zoamelgustav Ikari Gendo
Favorite Purple-
Haired Friend:
Xelloss-sama Misato
Least Favorite
Lina Inverse Asuka

Detailed Analysis:

Alright, so we have two determined combatants, and two capable mecha. Both pilots are in their respective cockpits, and both sides say all systems are go. Martina has powerd up the golem, and Shinji is synchronized with his Eva - let's rumble! As the match begins, we see the Orihalcon Golem smash its way out of the (former) castle of Xoana, and Eva Unit 01 rise through its NERV-built silo. And they're off!

Wait a minute, they're not off. Both mecha seem to be standing still facing each other, and no one's fighting! What is this, a Dragon Ball Z episode?? Hang on, we can hear over the cockpit radios that Martina is going on about how the monstrous Zoamelgustav will help her crush her opponent, and Shinji seems to be muttering "I musn't run away... I musn't run away..." Oh well, par for the course with these two...

Okay, finally some action! Martina's powering up her main attack, and she lets loose with a blazing beam of light that sears towards Shinji in his Eva, and incinerates the buildings next to him! Quite the display of power, the same as she used against the Slayers. Shinji responds with a series of blasts from his progressive rifle - it seems he's too paralyzed with fear to do anything else! Unfortunately for him, the shots richochet harmlessly off the golem's orihalcon skin. Hang on, we have to turn down our radio speaker volume, Martina's laughing is causing feedback.

There we go, and now... we seem to be an a standoff again. Martina used up all of the 1000-year-old golem's power in her first blast, and the building she knocked out was the one housing the Eva's electric umbilical cable. Both mecha are once again immobile, facing each other in silence. Except for Martina, of course - she's bawling to "Xelloss-sama" to save her from Shinji. This is worse than Dragon Ball Z! How do we declare a winner here?

Final Remarks:

While we try to figure out how to resolve this, we have a surprise! It looks like Xelloss has decided to actually help Martina like she asked! He's materialized over the battlefield, and it looks like he brought some other Mazoku with him! What's going on? "Actually, I'm not here because of Martina," he says, "Greater Beast just decided that after the Ghostbusters fiasco of last episode, we should have a rematch." It looks like the Angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion are here to back up Shinji too! Yikes! I'm out of here, and so we'll just have to declare:

The Winner: Martina!!
"Thank you Xelloss-sama!! I knew you would rescue me!"

Up Next: the Mazoku Race vs. the Angels!
(Who can destroy the world first???)

Have feedback, suggestions, or match/rematch requests?
Email Xanthix!

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Slayers Library -> Humor -> Slayers Fight! by Xanthix

"Slayers" is copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi. Original ideas, artwork, and text present on this page are copyright Esther Nairn, unless otherwise noted. No reproduction is allowed without express written or emailed permission. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.