ACen 2001 Masquerade Skit:
Pretty Lina's Magical Slayers Introduction
(with notes and as performed)
|Gourry: ::grumbles as first Lina, then Gourry, then Ameria, then Zel, and finally Xelloss walk onstage:: Why are we doing this again?
Lina: Because it's great publicity! Stop complaining!
Various Girls In Audience: Zelgadiss! Xelloss! Gourry!
Lina: ::arrives on stage with a sign that reads "Pretty Lina's Magical Slayers Introduction" and has a picture of super-deformed Lina:: Welcome, everyone, to Pretty Lina's Magical Slayers Introduction! I'm your hostess--
Gourry: ::hopefully:: Cupcake?
Lina: No, Gourry...I'm your hostess, the beautiful, powerful, world-famous Lina Inverse!
All except Lina: ::sweatdrop::
Lina: ::hands sign to Gourry, who passes it to Ameria, who passes it to Zel, who passes it to Xelloss, who shrugs and puts it on the floor:: If any of you have already seen Slayers, you've already seen this cute face, petite little body...
All except Lina: ::interrupt:: Get on with it!
Lina: All right, all right! First, we have Ameria, Princess of Saillune!
Ameria: Yay! ::jump forward and twirl::
Lina: Ameria's from the holy city of Saillune, where they believe in justice at all costs.
Ameria: ::hold fingers out in a V:: Victory!
Lina: She tried to learn the Dragon Slave from me once...
Ameria: ::hold hands out dramatically:: Dragon Slave! ::after a few seconds, drop head in a sweatdrop::
Everyone else: ::sweatdrop as well::
Lina: But we decided she should stick to other magic...
Ameria: ::hold hands out, the one with the flashy bike-reflector in front set to flash:: FIREBALL!
Gourry, Zel, Xelloss: ::do Takahashi position::
Audience: Some oohed and aahed at the flashy lite-up bike reflecter, especially since Ameria had just held out her hands a few seconds before and it wasn't there. Others laughed at the Takahashi position and Lina's reaction.
Lina: ::act shocked, pretend to survey damage:: Ameria! And they say I'M destructive!
Ameria: Sorry! ::step back into the rest of the group::
Zelgadiss: Ameria! That's the third audience this week!
Lina: Speaking of destructive people besides myself...
Audience: ::wild cheering, lots of "Zelgadiss-sama!" cheering from girls::
Zelgadiss: ::step forward, swing sword like Parn in Lodoss War, turn in different directions so everyone can see the costume:: Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!
Lina: ::roll eyes:: Zelgadiss, what ARE you doing?
Zelgadiss: Well, when I was searching for the Claire Bible, I found the first tape of Lodoss War, Chronicles of the Heroic Knight. And I think I could wipe the floor with that Parn guy.
Audience: ::laughter, especially since we weren't too much after a Lodoss War group went onstage::
Lina: And what am I supposed to do, admire you like Deelit?! ::smack his arm, which Zel doesn't notice but Lina does:: Owwww!
Zelgadiss: ::keep swinging sword:: Eh! Eh! Eh! Eh!
Lina: Y'see, Zel was turned into a chimera by his grandfather Rezo, and now his skin is made of stone. ::aside:: The real deal is, Zel wanted power, but he was too lazy to work for it.
Audience: ::oooooohs, since Lina just really burned him::
Zelgadiss: ::swing sword:: Eh! Eh! ::turn to Lina, swing sword:: HEY!
Lina: ::says half to Zel as Gourry steps up and Lina scoots toward him:: And let's not forget my GUARDIAN, here, Gourry!
Gourry: ::get in battle stance while Zel goes back to stand next to Ameria:: Ready!
Lina: ::while Gourry takes some practise swings in different directions to show off the costume:: Gourry here is the best swordsman in the world. He started following me around... ::look away, fingers together:: Actually, he said he'd stay with me forever... Audience: Surprisingly, there were several "Awwwww"s at this ::quickly:: because he's borrowing my Sword of Light! Isn't that right, Gourry?
Audience: There were a few people who called something like "Yeah right!" or "Uh-huuuuuh..." (expressing doubt at her words)
Gourry: Yea--wait, YOUR Sword of Light?? It's been in my family for generations!
Lina: Eh heh...moving right along... ::scoot over to Xelloss as Gourry steps back, his head hung in resignation::
Audience: ::really loud cheering. I took a bow, shocked that everyone seemed to love Xelloss as much as, or even more than, Zel::
Lina: THIS creepy guy here is Xelloss. He didn't exactly tell us about this, but he's a powerful Mazoku. His favorite line is...
Xelloss: ::wink, wag no-no finger, impersonate Japanese seiyuu:: Sore wa himitsu desu!
Audience: ::loud cheering. I took another bow, still really kinda shocked::
Xelloss: ::wink, wag no-no finger, impersonate English voice actor:: That is a secret!
Audience: ::more cheering::
Lina: ...depending on what you prefer, the sub or the dub. ::looks around, confused, as Xelloss steps around behind her:: He also does this really annoying thing...
Audience: ::some started to make noise, apparently expecting what I was going to do::
Xelloss: ::kisses Lina on the cheek opposite to where she was looking:: You mean that?
Audience: ::several gasps::
Lina: Xelloss... ::start Dragon Slave chant::
Xelloss: ::sweatdrops:: Now, Miss Lina...how about a peace offering? Some Pocky, maybe? ::holds up a box::
Audience: ::chants POCKY! POCKY! while Lina looks like she's casting something under her breath and I kept holding my hands out in a placating gesture::
Lina: ::as the chanting dies down, starts yelling the chant::
Ameria:::rushes forward:: Dragon Slave alert! Dragon Slave alert!
Gourry:Lina!! ::passes his sword to Zel::
Zelgadiss:::also runs forward yelling:: Dragon Slave alert! Dragon Slave alert!
Gourry:::wraps his arms around Lina's waist and lifts her away from Xelloss::
Lina:Gourry! ::kicks violently and yells:: Let me go! Let me go!
Ameria:::as soon as Lina is clear, rolls eyes as she and Zel walk off stage:: So much for Pretty Lina's Magical Slayers Introduction.
Zelgadiss:Well, it DID have magic...not the good kind, though...
Xelloss:::shrug, follow them off stage with a little bow to the audience::
Emcee:::as we walked offstage:: Xelloss, huh?
Girls in Audience:::some cheering::
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